Without Bones

Me and the Kid, Masked

My 4-year-old son has been asking me the same question lately. He thinks he’s pretty funny, which I have to admit, he often is.

What if we didn’t have any bones?!

Of course, we would be dead instantly without bones. Our organs and pipelines of blood and oxygen crushed by our old friend gravity, just a useless, jello-y sack of guts on the ground. But parenting requires pause and tact.

He probably wouldn’t like that answer.

“Well,” I said. “We’d probably walk like this–” and I proceeded to loosely strut around the room like a tranquilized gorilla. He quickly followed, imitating my movements and giggling.

A caution to new parents– being hilarious in front of your children poses a real risk.  If you do stunts they find amusing that they will ask you to repeat the stunt– forever. Their amusement doesn’t easily extinguish. If they like pretty much anything, in any way, they want more more and more, please! (I do worry if I have a particularly amusing heart attack, will I find my boy and girl standing over me shouting, “Again! Again, Daddy!”)

Since then he’s asked me a few hundred more times, “What if we didn’t have any bones?” and we’ve paraded around the room, boneless, over and over again.

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